Tuesday’s Takes: Greg Hardy arrested again. Ryan Fitzpatrick- Bad QB or Glaucoma victim? & More

Greg HARDY likes to PARDY

Greg Hardy doing Greg Hardy things. After being pulled over in Dallas Sunday night, the Po Po (police) found some Tony Montana (cocaine) and some pure-scurp (marijuana) in Hardy’s car. I like to use street lingo to appeal to the youths, while also using words in common tongue.  Anyway, cops found cocaine in Greg Hardy’s wallet. Greg gave the ol’ “Oh I was passing my wallet around at the party because I was paying for everybody and someone must have put a cocaine baggy in there” excuse. First off, for some reason I picture Greg Hardy as that guy with the velcro wallet.

Definitely Greg Hardy's wallet

Definitely Greg Hardy’s wallet

Second off, possibly the worst cover up story ever. Who passes their wallet around at party? Is there some sort of beer cart going around the party? Nobody brought some beer/liquor? I’m just saying, I’m broke as a joke and manage to find a way to pay for my alcohol (I sell water paintings of Celine Dion to the upper class). I picture Hardy partying with the dude from Superbad.

Pay for me Greg

“You guys on MySpace?”

 

Ryan Fitzpatrick- Bad QB or Glaucoma victim?

Ryan Fitzpatrick LITERALLY had the worst graded game by a QB ever. So bad it made Cody Kessler look like Joe Namath, with less sexual harassment. Seriously though, when are the Jets and Browns just gonna merge into one big shit show of a team? CANNOT WAITTTTT for when the Jets go to Cleveland in a Halloween-eve showdown this year.

As I was saying, is Fitzy this bad or is he hiding a Glaucoma diagnosis to keep his starting job?

"Suh dude."

“Suh dude.”

We all know someone affected by glaucoma. It’s the herpes of eye diseases.  AND Fitzy…. is just a bad QB. Yep, no glaucoma here. Just some click-bait trying to make headlines.

Question of the day: Ryan Fitzpatrick with Glaucoma? Or Geno Smith with 20/20 vision? Take your pick.

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Randy Gregory got the glaucoma fam. He stay smoking’ bruh.

 

UNRELATED NEWS

James Harden to play point guard full time. I love it. If you hate on James Harden’s game then I hate on you. The dude has the most complete offensive game in the league. Yeah I said it. Sure his defense is a liability. Nothing makes me more giddy then watching Harden put someone (Steph Curry) in a blender and hit a step back three.

tumblr_nm7c73ezak1shpnv1o4_r1_1280

My Raiders are looking solid. Derek Carr is a stud. For those of you who ragged on Praino for picking Carr over Russell Wilson and Cam Newton…HA! HEY CAM YOU LOOKED GOOD LAST WEEK! HEY RUSSELL! WHAT’S WRONG BUD IS IT THE SEX? Also, Janikowski has the most 50+ yard field goals in NFL history. I love me some Sebass.

Sebass adjusting his hog of a dip mid-game. Dude is one of a kind.

Sebass adjusting his hog of a dip mid-game. Dude is one of a kind.

Astros are 3 games out of the wildcard with 5 games left. I’m sick. I’m hurt. But I haven’t given up. Colby Rasmus getting the wildcard vibes going with this beaut.

colby-rasmus-party

1 Comment
  1. Profile photo of Black Marlins Man
    Black Marlins Man 11 months ago

    Greg Hardy is on cocaine and he doesn’t care about his hairline anymore.

    Rock bottom

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