Just want to come clean with everyone. I missed the entire Super Bowl. Yeah, I was going to just not say anything and play it off like I witnessed one of the greatest Super Bowls of all time. I’ve been on a huge Madden kick lately, because football basically got stolen from me. I have daddy issues with football right now. I let down the sport. Biggest defamation of the game since the Tuck Rule. Worst thing I have done all of this year. Cue the “Can 2017 be over already? omggggggg” tweets. Now let me take you through what happened.
Sunday morning. Super Bowl Sunday. Beautiful 65 degree day here in Raleigh, North Carolina. Crack a couple noon brews, play some Madden, eat some breakfast. All at the same time. I had too much hype and energy for the day so I had to multitask. There is a bar/arcade here that does $1 mimosas on Sundays and it’s the greatest place on earth. Boxcar is its name, and would be my downfall. We roll in, start crushing some skee ball and some Mario Kart on the 64 (best 64 game of all time with Blitz and Mario Party) before getting my ass kicked in smash bros. I hate that game. Always have sucked, never get better. Came in 4th behind a kid who was probably 12 (minors are allowed in Boxcar but it’s mainly a 20-40 year old crowd). An hour into Boxcar I realize we are 3 double mimosas ($2) deep. We make the switch up to beer. Continue upon our day. Mind you, the only food Boxcar has is popcorn. Free popcorn. So i’m smashing popcorn and bud lights and taking souls in Game of Thrones pinball, Dig Dug, and Tron. I’ve basically forgotten about the Super Bowl at this point. I’m wearing my throwback Astros ‘Strosandbros’ jersey to express my excitement for the upcoming World Series ring. The day becomes a mess. Plan was to go to a Super Bowl watch party at a friends and instead I get dropped off at home.
All is well though! I have a plan. All I want to do is eat, lay in bed, and watch the game. I pop the pregame on my laptop and lay in bed. This is my downfall. Next thing I know I am waking up at 10:30 eastern time… the game is frozen on the pregame menu. I hit refresh. LIE TO YOU I DO NOT. THIS IS THE TRUTH. First thing that I see after the refresh is Goodell shaking Tom Brady’s hand postgame. Sick. Sick to my stomach.
Do you know what that feels like? To watch the highlights of Julio’s catch, Edelman’s catch, the comeback, the OT win, and realize you fell asleep for all of it? Yes I have since watched the replay of the game but it isn’t the same. Point is kids…. don’t let your inner kid overtake you this weekend. YES I am blaming my immature alter ego and not the ridiculously cheap mimosas and the lack of pace in my game plan. But if there is any weekend to go a little too hard too fast and miss an entire sporting event it’s this weekend. After the dunk competition and maybe 1 quarter of the all-star game, I’m good. Might try and catch some college b ball. Probably won’t though. But I wanted to vent. Wanted to get this off my chest. Definitely not my proudest moment and I beefed it ok? I beefed Super Bowl Sunday so friggin hard. Don’t let the excitement of the game get to you too early ok? Now you all know… I missed the Super Bowl. God Bless. Stay low. Keep those feet moving.
Classic “PARTY AT TAYLOR’S HOUSE BILLINGSLEY!!! YOU BETTER BE THERE!” gif taking you into the weekend.