MARSHAWN TO OAKLAND. Astros basically win World Series. Reds prospect snorts for the snap.

The Astros are off to a 3-0 start.  *YAWN*  Not that I am surprised.  The most fun-to-watch team in baseball is looking sharp to start the season.  George Springer hit a 3 run walk off bomb to left field in the 13th and was responsible for driving in all 5 Astros wins.  The lineup is stacked.  No weak spots anywhere and a deep bench.  There is still time for you to win some easy $$$ and follow my lead.  Astros sweep the Nationals in the World Series.  Check out Georgie’s 5 RBI’s capped off with a SPRINGER DINGER.

 

Marshawn Lynch visited the Raiders yesterday.  It’s only a matter of time before the ball gets rollin and Marshawn ‘Ghost Ride The Whip while committing vehicular manslaughter with a golf cart’ Lynch is an Oakland Raider.  Not only would he be a great addition on the field,  he would be a great help in preventing murders by those Raiders fans on the verge of purging (Purge-Verge).  The Las Vegas announcement is tough to take.  But especially on the loyal fans who live in Oakland.  Not only are the Raiders being taken away, but the Warriors are being moved to the snobbiest place in America-San Fransisco.  Anyway, my teams are getting better and I am still not accustomed to winning.

 

I’ll leave you with Cincinnati Reds “Prospect” Ian Kahala doing coke on snapchat.  Solid move bro!  How bout his friend?? Receives a private snapchat and let’s some clown record it and post it on twitter.  I got a feeling that yellow heart emoji is finna be shattered.

 

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