Is Roger Goodell an undercover Russian trying to ruin football?

Yes.

When asked if it would be awkward handing Tom Brady the Lombardi trophy Roger “KGB” Goodell said, ” Goodell said,

“Not for a second. … Tom Brady is one of the all-time greats. He has been for several years…. He’s on the precipice of at least potentially winning his fifth Super Bowl ring. He’s an extraordinary player, great performer, and a surefire Hall of Famer. So it would be an honor.”

HA. Oh Roger my sweet sweet Roger.  He has a super hot fire take on Thursday Night Football too…You know those great matchups with Jacksonville and Tennessee that end 27-3 but dammmmmmmn them color rush uni’s is fresh fam….

“Almost by every barometer, the quality of the game is better on Thursday night.”

Stop it.  Stop the madness.  He has to know that everyone hates him.  What he has done to football is what I would expect Bono from U2 or maybe…. Putin??? Call me crazy, but I am not the first to draw the dots and connect the lines here…

Joe “Flip phone” Horn told SI,

“Roger Goodell is like the Vladimir f–kin Putin of the NFL,” Horn told SI.com. “You quote me on that shit. Roger Goodell is the Vladimir Putin of the NFL when it comes to players. Putin punks every country when he gets ready to. And there’s no rules when it comes to Putin, and Goodell is the same f–kin way when it comes to players. He sets all the standards.”

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Hmm.  And my boy Marquette King, the black Ray Guy (let’s call him “Black Guy”), tweeted this after he got SNUBBED from the Pro Bowl voting…

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A) Did Russia hack the elections? Don’t know, don’t care.

B) Did they hack the pro bowl? No. Why would they need to hack when they have a KGB spy IN THE NFL OFFICE!

Now I’m not a politician or a geographer.  I don’t craft globes to sell to little children nor do I know everything about other coutries political policies (except that they are inferior and stupid). However, the fact that Goodell wants to have NFL games played in China, WHO WAS AN ALLY TO THE SOVIET UNION IN WORLD WAR II, is an abomination.  If you followed that grammatical cesspool of a sentence, you WWII buffs may be saying “Weren’t we allies with China and the Soviets in WWII?”  YES we were but that is absolutely irrelevant and you are stupid for even trying to turn this argument into your own political agenda….

All I’m saying is we cannot rule it out.  I just watched season 1 of The Americans and  these KGB peeps is errwher.  I now trust no one.  Even myself.  It’s like KGB Inception.

 

Marquette “Black Guy” King GIFs to close it out. Swegswegswegswegggggg.

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Our punter > your punter

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1 Comment
  1. Profile photo of Adam Persico
    Adam Persico 6 months ago

    I see no flaws in this argument. Anyone who says otherwise is a CONFIRMED communist.

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