Ahh the Cleveland Browns. Even going through the Jamarcus Russell/Daunte Culpepper/Charlie Frye days as a Raiders fan, I never felt as shitty as Browns fans have to feel. Can’t catch a break. Manziel fell in love with cocaine and tattoos, RGIII is made of glue and popsicle sticks, and now they are on their 5th starting QB in their last 5 games. Cody Kessler? Pshh come on dude. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey Charlie. Where ya goin? To your fifth Brazzers shoot of the week? Na just coming to resurrect the Browns franchise.
PREDICTION: 4th quarter. 1:35 left. Browns are down 20-14. Kessler leaves the field to take an emergency dump. In comes Charlie “Shane Falco” Whitehurst. Leads the team down the field to throw the game winner to Terrelle Pryor. BROWNS 21 DOLPHINS 20. The thought (insane and highly unlikely) that Charlie Whitehurst could possibly throw a game winner to Terrelle Pryor is beautiful.
POSSIBLE CONSPIRACY: Also, when I type Whitehurst it auto corrects to Whitehorse. I did some extensive research, again, and there are conflicting reports on what a white horse symbolizes. In Christianity, some say it represents the anti-christ or end of the world. I’m not saying he is the anti-christ… but I’m not saying he isn’t either. Thats not my job. My job is to investigate and report. But on a much lighter note, a white horse symbolizes wisdom and chivalry in Greek mythology. Charlie Whitehurst: Savior of the Cleveland Browns, or anti-christ of the world?
Maybe he’s about to make a sick collaborative album with John Mayer bro.