BROCK OSWEILER VS CONNOR COOK! GET STOKED! IM BACK!

People of the Dirt,

I am back.  I have spent the last months of my absence traveling the world and exploring new life experiences.  I have bet on chickens to beat other chickens in hand to hand combat.  I spent the last 3 months in a Scottish prison.  I had my heart broken by a middle-eastern woman named “Brian”.  Yes we, we have a lot to discuss sweet people.  Upon my release I discovered my beloved MVP, Derek Carr, has broken his leg….

I’m not going to lie, I didn’t travel the world or get locked up in a Scottish prison.  (No comment on having my heart broken by Brian)  In all seriousness, I had to go to Christmas Eve church no less than 30 minutes after witnessing Derek break his leg.  HOW CAN I GO TO COMMUNION WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO IS STRANGLE THIS INNOCENT SWEET CHILD IN FRONT OF ME?!  There was no Christmas.  There was no joy.  All hope was lost.  If you are like me and watched Derek Carr mic’d up saying, “it’s broke, it’s broke,” I hope you cried and mourned for America’s MVP.  Seriously though, how is Carr not MVP? Don’t give me the Tom Brady argument.  Pats went 3-1 without Tom “System QB” Brady.  The Raiders are not the 12-3 team we were with Derek Carr, who BY THE WAY played 4 games with a broken finger.

Meanwhile…. We placed our hope in Matt “McGlovin” McGloin only to witness him overthrow Amari Cooper and proceed to get destroyed by the Broncos pass rush.  McGlovin got knocked out the game, leading to Connor “My Dad is a Dickbag” Cook’s first action in his FIRST GAME he dressed this entire year.  *Note Poppa Cook’s tweets*

 

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Ok the Griner tweet is something we actually all can agree with..

Needless to say, the guy is outspoken.  Not gonna lie supposedly Connor Cook takes after his pops a little.

MY TROPHY

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Now allow me to drop the bomb on y’all ala Hiroshima.

Connor Cook will be the first player in NFL history to make his first career start in an NFL Playoff game… and WIN.  I remember when we drafted him I was a little befuddled.  But it all makes sense now, shoutout to the best GM in the NFL Reggie McKenzie.  I can’t wait to see the Disney movie in 10 years about the resurrection of THE Oakland Raiders.  Lets go win a Super Bowl and trade Connor Cook to the New York Jets for 3 first round draft picks.

Seriously though, this game is going to be a shit show.  Brock Osweiler is so bad. So bad. He was bad at Denver, he’s bad now.  Connor Cook is 18X the QB as Brock “Slim Jim” Osweiler.  “Y’all wanna see me throw for 162 yards and 2 picks?!”

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It’s good to be back people, blogs on blogs to follow. (ASTROS OFFSEASON RECAP/2017 WORLD SERIES RUN Blog coming soon)

Peep Josh Reddick Fam. RINGS RINGS RINGS like a got damn landline.

jreddic

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